Dear Emme,
It was not long ago when Mea was just Mea. A friend who tried so hard to be a stranger. Who tried to connect and dislodge when she think she’s gotten too close. Who seemed concern but didn’t seem to care enough. Who smiled and shy away. Whose affection and indifference intertwined into a confusion of misinterpreted intention and hazy hints. I know I bewildered you as much as I did myself. I was trying to lead you off the trails that I left behind. The breadcrumbs to my deepest secret. The one I could never let you know.
The simple truth - I love you
You were as real as anyone can be and as unreachable as the most farfetched fairytale. And I was so convinced that happily ever after was not meant for me.
Thank you for proving otherwise. Thank you for giving love a whole new meaning and happiness another chance.
You got me living on the edge of my seat. You got me excited about life again.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Happy birthday, Mea
29th December 2011, 10.15pm
The dinner by the lake was amazing. The diner was a full house as it always is every single night. Above us, the sky seemed draped in dark satin dotted with tiny specks of sparkling whites forming the constellation of Orion – The Hunter. Pulling his arrow valiantly across the universe in a quest for heavenly creatures. Little did he know, nothing is more heavenly than this creature closer to ground. Sitting right next to me. She was beaming with all the glory a woman could have. She smiles as she talks about life and how she goes about living it. I listened attentively. Admiring her grace and unique gestures. The way she moved her fingers in an attempt to accentuate each spoken words. And how her hair fell on her face every now and again. And every now and again, she would pause, look me straight in the eyes with the most endearing gaze and rest her hands on mine. That gave me butterflies – every single time. Fighting the urge to kiss her, I bit my lips instead.
We attend to our plates and kept talking until there were more empty chairs than there were people.
As Orion makes his way to the far horizon, we bade the lake goodnight.
Half past 11 pm. As we drove home, Emme made an abrupt request that we make one last stop at her office. I obliged. We went to the 10th Floor. I noticed that she wasn’t following the same path to her desk. Still, I followed unassumingly. One door led to another until we finally came to an open space somewhere at the edge of the building. There were trees and shrubs planted here. The cool breeze that blows bestowed some life on the greeneries. Down below cars were passing through the alleys in between the concrete maze. Streetlights offer some presentable view of what lays on the ground. A teak chair and table decorated an empty corner where I was asked to sit and wait. Emme disappeared and came back moments later holding a white box. Something was lit inside the box. The orange tinged light flickered on her face. “Surprise!” she said as she walked towards me. I just stand frozen like a wax statue. Mouth agape. I was speechless and flattered. She placed the pavlova right in front of me. I made a wish with my eyes closed and blew the candle. I pulled her closer. “Gosh sayang. I can’t believe you did this!” My voice was husky as I tried to hold my tears.
This time around, I didn’t make a wish for myself. I already have everything I need.
The dinner by the lake was amazing. The diner was a full house as it always is every single night. Above us, the sky seemed draped in dark satin dotted with tiny specks of sparkling whites forming the constellation of Orion – The Hunter. Pulling his arrow valiantly across the universe in a quest for heavenly creatures. Little did he know, nothing is more heavenly than this creature closer to ground. Sitting right next to me. She was beaming with all the glory a woman could have. She smiles as she talks about life and how she goes about living it. I listened attentively. Admiring her grace and unique gestures. The way she moved her fingers in an attempt to accentuate each spoken words. And how her hair fell on her face every now and again. And every now and again, she would pause, look me straight in the eyes with the most endearing gaze and rest her hands on mine. That gave me butterflies – every single time. Fighting the urge to kiss her, I bit my lips instead.
We attend to our plates and kept talking until there were more empty chairs than there were people.
As Orion makes his way to the far horizon, we bade the lake goodnight.
Half past 11 pm. As we drove home, Emme made an abrupt request that we make one last stop at her office. I obliged. We went to the 10th Floor. I noticed that she wasn’t following the same path to her desk. Still, I followed unassumingly. One door led to another until we finally came to an open space somewhere at the edge of the building. There were trees and shrubs planted here. The cool breeze that blows bestowed some life on the greeneries. Down below cars were passing through the alleys in between the concrete maze. Streetlights offer some presentable view of what lays on the ground. A teak chair and table decorated an empty corner where I was asked to sit and wait. Emme disappeared and came back moments later holding a white box. Something was lit inside the box. The orange tinged light flickered on her face. “Surprise!” she said as she walked towards me. I just stand frozen like a wax statue. Mouth agape. I was speechless and flattered. She placed the pavlova right in front of me. I made a wish with my eyes closed and blew the candle. I pulled her closer. “Gosh sayang. I can’t believe you did this!” My voice was husky as I tried to hold my tears.
This time around, I didn’t make a wish for myself. I already have everything I need.
Wrapped in my arms right here on the 10th floor.
30th December 2011
The thin curtains filtered the morning sunlight. Mellowing it into welcoming warmth as it gets reflected on the bedroom walls. It brought along with it distant chirps of House Sparrows and Indian Mynas. Emme was still breathing deep. Her eyes closed. I traced her crimson lips with my fingers. An overwhelming feeling came over me. I shuddered. God, I love this girl so much. In this cold, deceitful world, this is the only thing I’m sure of. This is my remedy.
As she opened her eyes slowly, it was as if the whole room lighted up and the whole world quieted down. She smiled and kissed me instantaneously as though resuming a paused action from last night when she fell asleep. “Happy birthday sayang”, she whispered as her hands make their way around me. We laid in bed for a while longer.
Breakfast was brief. We packed our suitcase and head to the beach. It has been a while since our last vacation. Needless to say, we were extremely exhilarated. Our room was on the 7th floor. It was everything we hoped it would be and more. It offered more space than we needed. A door opened up to a miniature pool just inches from the bed. There was a small aisle by the side of the pool that leads to a balcony. From there all you can see is the wide open space where the Straits of Malacca meets the sizzling December sky. The afternoon sun penetrates and bounces all over the room creating a specter of mesmerizing patterns on the ceiling where the pool is. It was perfect.
30th December 2011
The thin curtains filtered the morning sunlight. Mellowing it into welcoming warmth as it gets reflected on the bedroom walls. It brought along with it distant chirps of House Sparrows and Indian Mynas. Emme was still breathing deep. Her eyes closed. I traced her crimson lips with my fingers. An overwhelming feeling came over me. I shuddered. God, I love this girl so much. In this cold, deceitful world, this is the only thing I’m sure of. This is my remedy.
As she opened her eyes slowly, it was as if the whole room lighted up and the whole world quieted down. She smiled and kissed me instantaneously as though resuming a paused action from last night when she fell asleep. “Happy birthday sayang”, she whispered as her hands make their way around me. We laid in bed for a while longer.
Breakfast was brief. We packed our suitcase and head to the beach. It has been a while since our last vacation. Needless to say, we were extremely exhilarated. Our room was on the 7th floor. It was everything we hoped it would be and more. It offered more space than we needed. A door opened up to a miniature pool just inches from the bed. There was a small aisle by the side of the pool that leads to a balcony. From there all you can see is the wide open space where the Straits of Malacca meets the sizzling December sky. The afternoon sun penetrates and bounces all over the room creating a specter of mesmerizing patterns on the ceiling where the pool is. It was perfect.
We spent most of the time in the pool. Emme sported a dark blue bikini. I can’t believe how good she looked on those. Her curves were apparent. Her wet hair added a kind of sensuality to the whole look. She was absolutely gorgeous. We were having the time of our lives. The only thing that motivated us to get out of the pool is our primal hunger.
When the day was over, we went for a walk by the edge of the sea. The night was serene. I held her hands at all times. We talked about the past and our future plans. We talked about triumphs and defeats. We talked about hopes and dreams. But mostly, we talked about us. I told her I love her with everything I have and how I wish the night would never end. Under the moonless sky, we kissed and made an oath for eternity.
The sound of a door being closed woke me up from my momentary reverie.
The hallway is lined by neatly placed pale blue plastic chairs as though waiting for an audience to fill it up. The walls are dotted with cello tapes all yellowed and wrinkled by age. A reminder that something was put up there once. Something important for everyone to read and know. I sat somewhere in the middle. Looking at the opening at the end of the hallway where cars are passing by. It’s scorching hot out there. I’m glad I’m in the shades.
“Mea?” Someone peek through the creaking door and called my name. She could have just called me in since I’m the only one there. I could have answered sarcastically, “Mea who?” That would have been funny, wouldn’t it? But I shrugged off the thought, nodded and walk into the room quietly instead.
I sit in front of a middle age lady. Her hair was neat and the color of amber. She has pleasant eyes. She has the ability to speak through those eyes. To reassure people that everything’s going to be ok. And she knows it.
“So, Mea what can I do for you today?” She asked while reading a pink card that have been scribbled with the history of my previous visits. I told her I’ve been having this recurring fever and headaches. After some brief examination, she told me I have sinusitis and bronchitis. Bronchitis? That sounds serious. I made a mental note to google it later. “I’m going to give you a very strong antibiotic on top of your standard fever drugs. If your fever persists, please come back. We need to figure out a better regiment.” Regiment. Right. I don’t need a better regiment. I know what I need to get better. The only problem is, she’s hundreds of miles away.
Happy Birthday, Mea Fabella
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