The window pane flickered in bright white lights. Cold dense breeze gushes from in between the openings and blew the drapes about in a chaotic fit. Outside, the trees succumbed to the rising tempest and sway submissively. Shedding leaves that brushes against the dry rust colored ground below. The weather was restless and thick. A storm is brewing.
The room was kept dim intentionally. A 5 watt bulb that emanates feeblishly from the corner of the room reminds me of the warmth of the morning sun. I laid half awake on my half empty queen size bed. My mind wondered aimlessly but not far from whatever image, sounds and senses that surrounds my recollection of me and her. They flow unambiguously like drops of molten snow that flows into streams and lakes at the mercy of the approaching spring.
The defiant cloud finally gave way and let out an unrelenting burst. The roof tiles roared as it receives the heavy shower. I pulled my blanket towards my chest. What is it about the rain that intensifies your longing for the conquering allure of a lover?
It’s been a year. My mind was trying to make sense of that. I calculated it in hours and days and months and came up with an insignificant sum of numbers. Numbers that fail miserably in explaining the significance of events like the nights I stayed awake with my arms around her as the silent darkness eases into dawn that always came too soon. Waiting for her to open her eyes again so our story could resume.
Or the time when we went to a retreat above the hills. It was drizzling as we made our way to the top. The road was narrow, winding and steep. That didn’t seem to bother the truck driver. He maneuvered carelessly and effortlessly up the aged asphalt trail. The hard rubber pushed dirt and pebbles down the deep ravine as it struggles for grips. The truck rattles and growls in protest. We held on to whatever that was within our reach. I held her arms. We were literally jumping about in the truck. Laughing hard. This felt like an adventure to us. Late afternoon, we sat at the edge of the hill, watching the sun descends where the horizon ends. I remembered swallows flying around us. Forming dark shadows as they flew over of the somnolent sun. I remembered staring at her beautiful, infiltrating eyes and praying for time to freeze just this one time.
And numbers can’t describe the sorrow of being away from her and the helplessness I felt of not being able to be there for her when life was being unkind and human was being….human.
I closed my eyes and move about on my bed, trying to run away from that thought.
Then, I saw her again. She was wearing a white dress the color of salt water pearl. It complimented her curves and creases flawlessly. The dress train flows and trails her as she walked across the living room. She beamed with joy. I was ecstatic and amazed by this gorgeous creature that stood in front of me. I picked that dress just a day earlier, not knowing whether it will fit her or if she would like it. She turned to me and asked how the dress looked on her. Wide eyed, I somehow managed to smile and said, “Perfect sayang. You looked perfect”. She wrapped her arms around me. I gave her a kiss. “I guess we’ve found your wedding dress”.
The rain subsided into tiny droplets that made an almost hypnotic sound as it made its way down into the moss clad drain from the edge of the clay roof tiles.
As I drifted into my slumber I thank God for an answered prayers. Never have I been so happy in my life and never have I had someone loved me as much as she did. A year had passed since she gave me that first kiss. We have been through a lot of trials and tribulation. But looking back, I see nothing but two girls sitting on a boulder, at the edge of the hill, sharing a kiss.
Happy anniversary Emme Fabella. It has been a wonderful year. Thank you for having me.
I’m lucky to have been given the privilege to walk by your side.
Remember that you will always have all of Mea.
Here’s to us.
