Sunday. Another cold morning in this awfully empty house. It rained heavily last night and a few nights before. From my window, I can see the mist shrouding the hills. The morning breeze eases in. Ushering the fog and spreading it on the lowlands. The adolescent sunlight peeked through and flooded the empty spaces in between. It’s a beautiful morning. I wish Emme is here to see it.
It’s true what they say. Sometimes silence can be deafening. Loneliness screams from within you like a child throwing a tantrum. I hate how every noise echoed in this house. Especially my own voice. But I must say it makes a good effect when I played my guitar. I think it is called the reverberation effect. Each chord is reflected back and forth on the walls. Amplifying it. Accentuating it. Making me feel like I’m performing in a stadium or something. Zero audience of course.
For some reason, I can’t play in front of Emme. My palms will get all sweaty and I’ll lost memories of lyrics and chords. I get nervous when she’s looking attentively at me, listening. Perhaps I’m afraid I might slip and screw up. Oh the pressure of it all! I’ve tried taping it but somehow I’m still nervous thinking that she is going to watch this later on anyway. Maybe soon when I got used to plucking and strumming in her presence, I would be less restless. But for now, practice practice practice.
Distance does makes the heart grew fonder. I have no argument in that whatsoever. But it could also sink you deep in your own despair. Life is not always as bright as today’s sunshine. When life rain on your parade, you yearn for that comfort. That genuine human touch. And not just from anybody. From the only person you knew who really cared. Phone calls, texts, webcams and emails they lack that essence. They can sometimes even worsen the pain. I always told Emme, webcams are worse than medieval torture device. You can look but you cannot touch. So near yet so far. It’s like living in dungeons – with WiFi.
Another 2 sunrises to Emme. That’s my only consolation right now. That’s my spark of hope. I have a destination. Somewhere to go. Someone to hold. Lips to kiss. In 2 days. In 2 long days.
I haven’t even arrived but I’m already thinking about the pain of parting. It’s imminent. No point denying that fact. Perhaps I’m just trying to prepare myself which is a good thing. I won’t let Emme see my tears. Not this time.
It’s true what they say. Sometimes silence can be deafening. Loneliness screams from within you like a child throwing a tantrum. I hate how every noise echoed in this house. Especially my own voice. But I must say it makes a good effect when I played my guitar. I think it is called the reverberation effect. Each chord is reflected back and forth on the walls. Amplifying it. Accentuating it. Making me feel like I’m performing in a stadium or something. Zero audience of course.
For some reason, I can’t play in front of Emme. My palms will get all sweaty and I’ll lost memories of lyrics and chords. I get nervous when she’s looking attentively at me, listening. Perhaps I’m afraid I might slip and screw up. Oh the pressure of it all! I’ve tried taping it but somehow I’m still nervous thinking that she is going to watch this later on anyway. Maybe soon when I got used to plucking and strumming in her presence, I would be less restless. But for now, practice practice practice.
Distance does makes the heart grew fonder. I have no argument in that whatsoever. But it could also sink you deep in your own despair. Life is not always as bright as today’s sunshine. When life rain on your parade, you yearn for that comfort. That genuine human touch. And not just from anybody. From the only person you knew who really cared. Phone calls, texts, webcams and emails they lack that essence. They can sometimes even worsen the pain. I always told Emme, webcams are worse than medieval torture device. You can look but you cannot touch. So near yet so far. It’s like living in dungeons – with WiFi.
Another 2 sunrises to Emme. That’s my only consolation right now. That’s my spark of hope. I have a destination. Somewhere to go. Someone to hold. Lips to kiss. In 2 days. In 2 long days.
I haven’t even arrived but I’m already thinking about the pain of parting. It’s imminent. No point denying that fact. Perhaps I’m just trying to prepare myself which is a good thing. I won’t let Emme see my tears. Not this time.
Last time we said goodbye, we were crying like hell. Emme was wiping her tears with one hand and mine with another. We kissed our last kiss as tears trickled down our cheek. It was heart wrenching leaving her like that. I felt guilty about having to leave but like Emme always said, “We have responsibilities. We’re two mature, working adults”. I must admit, I can’t completely agree with her on that. Working adults? Yes. But mature? Not yet. Getting there. And doing a lousy job at that.
I can’t wait for this day to be over. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I can’t wait for Monday and Tuesday. Each day that ended brings me closer to her. We are going to pick up where we left off. Make up for lost time. Resume impeded affection. I am going to find my way back to Emme.
I can’t wait for this day to be over. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I can’t wait for Monday and Tuesday. Each day that ended brings me closer to her. We are going to pick up where we left off. Make up for lost time. Resume impeded affection. I am going to find my way back to Emme.
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