misadventure of mea and emme

rough weather strong wind
this is not how it begin
with a kiss and a simple touch
the treaty was signed with tears and blood

here we are in the middle of the ocean
following the current in free motion
not knowing where the wind will take us
not knowing if the sail would last

i'll cover you when the storm escalate
keep me strong keep me sane
i don't care if we ever land
just stay close and hold my hands

are you hungry how about a kiss
can my love feed your famish
let my caress quench your thirst
i'm sorry this sound so ridiculous

sayang come here and lie on my lap
u must be tired from all the mishaps
Im sorry I took you along with me
I never meant to cause you misery

if someday we succumb and die
let this place serves as a shrine
a remembrance of love revamped
the misadventure of mea and emme

numb

this one's for you
and that one's for day two

a downward spiral

I woke up this morning with an odd feeling of affection and fear all blended up into one big mush. Gosh, I think I’m starting to lose my sense of reason. I don’t think I’m falling in love with you anymore emme. I think I am free-falling into you. No, that’s not it. I’m uhm…spiraling down towards you. I’m losing control emme. There, pride aside, I admit it.
Would you catch my descent?

“Your problem is, when you love, you forget”

I understand that due to some inexorable constraint you can’t promise me forever. I am well aware of that. Come to think of it, it shouldn’t matter because I’m standing here not for personal gain. I’m here just to love you. Emphasis on the word just.

You’re my raison d'être.

And then comes the fear part. Fear of not having you. Losing you. Oh emme, I don’t want to go back to the old mea. I don’t want to have to constantly persuade myself to wake up every morning. I don’t want to watch cartoon reruns every night until I got tired and doze off. I don’t want to have dreams of random and ridiculous events that have me questioning my own mental state in the morning. I want to dream of you.

Still emme, (trembling as I’m writing this) IF one day the inevitable becomes imminent and we have to say that horrendous word, you know, the last word people say to each other before they went the opposite way, could you just promise me that you’ll never forget about me and how I used to make you smile. And just know that when I wake up every morning, every morning, I will utter those 3 words and end it with emme.

……………………………..

Shucks. No. That’s not gonna happen. Let’s not talk about the future. Let’s talk about now. OK emme?

a day of our own

Miles away lovers apart
A nameless affair kept well in the dark
Savour the night loathe the dawn
A moment in time a day of our own

crimson red heels her dress ivory white
She is a woman in her own right
a tinge hotter than a Moroccan summer
and grace akin to Vivaldi’s Winter

Under the moonlight we sat in silence
A song is playing somewhere in the distance
She heightened me with every glance
Excuse me miss, may I have this dance

Stolen smile sleepless nights
Love beguile hold on tight
Turn around close the door
sois mienne, mon amour

better than red

Dear Emme,

I wrote this while you were sleeping. While you were deep in your own retreat. This sight of you always brings me close to tears. Ask me why and I wouldn't know what to answer.

This feeling that I have for you. It felt like the more I let it out, the more it accumulates inside of me. All of a sudden, saying I love you felt inadequate to match how I really feel about you. And all these words they disintegrate to being just arrangement of alphabets. Thin and hollow.

I'm at a lost now. I'm out of words. Out of means. Trying to find better ways to make you understand who Emme is to Mea. I need you to know . That's all I ever wanted. That's my purpose.

So forgive me, dear emme. Pardon me while I search for a more deserving ways to love you. An all improved alternative to "I Love You". A better color than red.