the long and winding road

……..Here we are standing by her front door. I’m all packed and ready. Ready? That’s a lie. I can never be ready for this. One last kiss. Dry your tears. Time to send Mea away……..

The weekend wasn’t planned but the timing was perfect. Our last meetup in Malacca three weeks ago felt like an eternity. I need to see her again. I have to.

I arrived and waited in the café. Sipping hot cocoa. Other patrons were watching TV and chatting. I sat there unnoticed. The night was giving way to the early morning dew. Cold. She’s on the way. I like the sound of that. Emme is on the way.

She finally drove by and I got in the car. She looked beautiful as ever. We sat there staring at each other. Three seconds of silence. Here I am Emme. Take me into your arms and kiss me like you promised to.

“Mea, I can’t believe you’re here”.
“Me too sayang . Me too.”

As we drove to her place, something came to mind. Beatles’ The long and winding road.

The long and winding road
That leads to your door
Will never disappear
I've seen that road before
It always leads me here
Lead me to your door.

You sang my heart, Sir Paul.

I took a shower. A much needed shower. It’s been a long day. Put some fresh clothes on. I sat on the dining table. Munching on the noodles we picked up on the way. She took a towel and dried my hair. I have this bad habit of just letting my hair dry on its own. I felt like a silly 6 years old. I gave a goofy chuckle. She kissed my forehead. I’m loved.

We lie down on the bed. Exhausted. I held her close and bury my face on her back. I felt the warmth that radiates from her skin. And that familiar scent. Is it lavender? Or perhaps jasmine? Doesn’t matter. It’s Emme’s.

I don’t wanna sleep. I won’t waste this moment on such a wasteful thing as sleeping. I stayed awake just looking at her. Stroking her soft hair. Telling her I love her. There are times when she moved slightly as though responding to my whisper. Maybe somewhere in her dream, she heard me.
I don’t know when but my eyes finally gave in to my body’s plead for rest. I subside.

I woke up at the sound of her voice. I opened my eyes and there she was. It felt like a dream. I smiled. She gave me my first kiss of the day. And another one. I can’t stop smiling. I love you Emme. I truly love you.

We agreed to spend our weekend just hanging around. Relaxing. That morning the rain came pouring like it never rained before. Adding to another good reason to stay at home. We talk, eat and sleep - In that order.

That evening we went out for a walk by the lake. I had her hand clasped in mine.
The sun, now the color of burnt orange, was slowly receding into the far off horizon. Its final gleam turning everything into a shade of deep saffron. Including her eyes. Her amazing set of eyes. We walked towards the sunset. Just talking. Catching up. More often than not, we laughed. At times we stood so close and stare at each other. Inviting curious gape from passersby. “Let them wonder”, I said with a naughty smile. I can’t imagine myself being anywhere else than right here by the lake just sitting with the girl I love.
Remember I kissed you by the pier just as the day turned into night?

We had dinner at a very nice café not far from the lake. I love the food and the ambience. Everything was delicious. Everything was perfect. She is. I’m a lover in content.

Sunday
I sat on the floor. Looking at my backpack and a pile of dirty laundry lying around like a mock remembrance of happier days. I folded and packed them sloppily into my bag. I always dreaded folding clothes. Even more so right now. Tears were falling from my eyes.
God, this is too hard.

I slumped into her arms. We’re both in tears. Emme told me that we are gonna see each other soon. She loves me and we are gonna make this work. She said, let’s just imagine I’m away on a business trip and we’ll see each other when I get back. Yes, that’s right. I’ll see you when I get back. When I get home.
I took her in my embrace. I have to be strong for us.

Here we are standing by her front door. I’m all packed and ready. Ready? That’s a lie. I can never be ready for this. One last kiss. Dry your tears. Time to send Mea away.

Many times I've been alone
And many times I've cried,
Anyway you'll never know
The many ways I've tried.

And still they lead me back
To the long, winding road
You left me standing here
A long, long time ago
Don't leave me waiting here
Lead me to your door.

I’m sorry I had to go Emme. I’m sorry we’re so far away. I’ll be back. I promise I’ll come back for you.

Lead me to your door